Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle response turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath." Proverbs 15v1 (NET)
Observations
Today's proverb says the same thing in two different ways, this is a common form of proverb. The proverb speaks into those times when someone is already angry.
The gentle word turns away anger, suggesting that the anger is set in a course of action. Anger motivates us to act, it is bubbles away inside us until we do something, anything. The good news of this Proverb is that anger can be deflected. The object that the anger wants to destroy (for anger is the emotion of destruction) can be changed! Even in the heat of raised tempers, the course is not set in stone, there is a chance for the anger to be "turned away". In the heat of an argument, when one's own anger is boiling, it is tempting to fight fire with fire. They are shouting at me, so I'll shout right back. They are threatening me, I'll threaten them right back. I think we do this in an honest attempt to divert their anger onto a different path. Yet, as Edwards pointed out, fear only leads to deeper entrenchment; in this case we try to use fear to force the other to back down, but either their temper burns even hotter or it is driven down and morphs into resentment. Don't be fooled, when it looks like our anger has turned away the anger of the other, it has merely changed rage (hot anger) into bitterness (cold anger). The Proverb counsels us that, instead, a "gentle word" really does turn away anger. Note, a gentle word, not a gentle sentiment nor a gentle action, but gentle word. This is more than handling the hot issue carefully, but not less. When confronting anger, we can address the issue at hand, but gentle speech goes further. Gentleness is called for when handling something delicate: though a raging person might seem quite robust, in reality, they are fragile and likely close to breaking.
Christ
"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." The ultimate gentle word that turned away anger was spoken by Jesus on the cross. These words were the culmination of a life of gentleness. Christ, in his priestly role, turned away God's anger and in his prophetic role, turned away ours.
Application
The next time you see someone raging, resist the urge to stir up their anger by attempting to quash it with a "harsh word". You will fail, the person will either blow up in rage or seeth in resentment. Instead, remember gentle Jesus, who's words turned away God's righteous anger, and join him in fixing with world in the divinely appointed manner, with gentle words.